I subjected myself to objectification

You did it!! You finally did it! What only started as a contemplation, followed by a lot of convincing from peers, had ultimately reached the execution stage. What you always thought as ‘undoable’ was actually done.

You always felt different. Someone who enjoyed and was comfortable in your own company. You never craved for a social life. After a certain age, you could never relate to any friendship quotes out there. You fail to understand why everyone needs someone...anyone. Your personality is not for everyone. You possess qualities that are so contradictory to one another; disciplined but addicted to binging, shy but love to dance, crave peace but can blabber, can’t exercise but obsessed with evening walks, headstrong but soft. 

Yet here your were, introducing yourself to a dating world that only knew two directions, that was always searching, that was broken but eager, that believed in only small talks. You mentally prepared yourself and kept telling yourself,

‘Let’s just give it a try’,

‘The whole world seems to be there’,

‘Maybe it really works’,

‘What harm can it really do?’,

‘I’ll only be myself, what’s there to lose anyway?’ 

Still, you were finding it hard to describe yourself in the ‘about me’ column, uploading your best pictures from the lot, thinking..overthinking about whatever you put out there, imagining the impact your profile may have on others. And right then, it was obvious, you were no different and one of them.

WE ALL ARE DIFFERENT UNTIL WE REALISE WE AREN’T. 

We are independent but look for someone to depend on. We appear to be strong but for love easily go weak on our knees. We glorify ourselves as ‘loner’ or ‘lone wolf’ but crave companionship.

We hate to be objectified yet we are the ones who subject ourselves to it.

You are not a social bee, but you are leaving your fate of finding a partner in the hands of a social monster. It claims to introduce you to like minded people and help you find your match but all it really does is subject you to million of opinions, compliments and judgements based on your appearance. The appearance you very articulately chose to show and the only side you were comfortable to let strangers see.

You objectified the side you thought was perfect, but little did you know that this became the very same reason of the standards that were expected of you after you officially connected. And guess what? You weren’t prepared for what was coming! You quickly start doubting the process, question the genuineness, resort to the famous ‘eye rolls’ at every cheesy compliment, every cliched flirtation, every attempt that the other made to initiate something more based on what the other saw when they swiped right. 

And then you wonder how the world & the relations have become so materialistic or superficial or image based? Hypocrite much? We hate it,but we intentionally or unintentionally invite it upon ourselves and a true feminist knows that.